Everything Fall

Horror Pack

First I want to talk about something neat I came across while just randomly looking through things online. You all know I do love a great subscription box and the horror themed one I used to get just didn’t excite me. I think that’s mainly due to the fact I’m not a huge fan of current horror.

What can I say, I love what I grew up with.

Horror Pack

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My War Paint Is Sharpie Ink


Here are some better shots of that haircut. I’ve been told it’s too short. I’ve always been told by many females that they wish they were like me and could “pull off that style”. The key is, it’s all about attitude. That’s the key to any style honestly. It’s all about how that style makes you feel. And well punk style, I feel home in that style.

Something else I’ve heard a lot of lately is people wishing they were as ambiguous as I am. I admit, I love to blur the gender line – I love to blur it a lot. Blur it beyond the point of just being through of as a tom boy. I have a chest binder that I’ve wore a couple times, I love how it makes me feel. Yes from time to time I am girlie, don’t get me wrong – I’m only overly girlie when I do Lolita. Lolita is my true girlie time.

Ever since I was little I never felt like I could identify as strictly male or female. I’ve always felt as though there was more to it. A couple years ago I found who I am, I’m a pansexual gender fluid person. When I realized who I really am, it felt amazing.

Gender Fluid (to me): Moving between genders or with a fluctuating gender identity

I wanted to change my social media accounts to gender fluid, but one of the major ones didn’t have a section for GF people. You had to ID as male or female.


Finally last week Facebook made the move to include nearly all genders! It felt awesome to finally be able to click ‘Gender Fluid’ beside ‘Gender’! I’m not only proud that I can fully be myself, but I feel like a weight has been lifted from me.

Now to the more boring items I wanted to talk about, but I really had to talk about that first.


I wanted cookie so I made these peanut butter & jelly cookies. The jelly is blackberry. ^_^ They turned out great, I wasn’t sure how they were going to turn out honestly. The recipe just seemed a bit off. I’ll post the recipe later this week, they’re super simple to make.

I made these cookies to give them a little test. At the end of May at the major craft event I’m at I usually always take baked goods and do a little bake sale. Well I want to have some new items this year, as well as have a bit of a selection. These cookies did make the cut.

On my little list of ideas I do have chocolate cupcakes, white cupcakes, peanut butter & jelly cookies and lemon fingers (or lemon bars)…

What do you guys like to see when you go to a bake sale? What one item do you always look for?

In the end I will throw together some chocolate chip cookies. I also hope to do some cookies with a cotton candy icing & another cookie with a lemonade icing.


Friday I finally got the earring I ordered. Yes – earring – as in I only ordered one. I love it. I haven’t had a chance to wear it yet though.

I also got another package in the mail. The last thing I ordered for him. I honestly wanted to cry a little over the package because I was sure he was going to love the gift when I put it all together. Now it’s just sitting on my desk and I have no idea what I’m going to do with it.

My emotions have been a bit touch and go over the past few days. I know it happened for the best, but my heart still hurts.

I went out with some friends Friday night, and I know I just brought the whole room down. It was just so hard with him not being there and me knowing there was no chance of him making a surprise pop in. I know it will get easier as time goes on…I just…I don’t know. He seemingly always found a way to make me smile, even if he didn’t know it.

Friday morning/afternoon I really stayed in bed and read, I read until I got a text saying my friend was coming to pick me up.

So with all of that reading I was able to finish 5, 742 Days: A Mother’s Journey Through Loss by Anne-Marie Cockburn [LINK] – it’s a great book. After I finished it, I did laugh a little to myself. Just for the main reason of me reading a book about loss and now being single. In some ways I could connect with Anne, the little reminders and such – those are still around.

The next book I’ll be reading is Playboy Bunny or Stewardess?? The Uncensored Memoirs of a Pan Am Flight Attendant by Dona Jay Epting [LINK]. I haven’t had a chance to really start reading it though. I think it will be a good book, well I hope it will be.

I’m still reading through all the free books I’ve “bought”. Which is kind of sad, or it says something about me. ^_^ Yeah, I like a good deal.

Having loads of books is a good thing though since I’m still dealing with major sleeping problems. Now I can’t go to bed until around 3:30am or 4am. >_<

I keep thinking about when all the craft events start again…how am I going to do them? 90% of them I have to be up and out of the house by at least 6:30am. I can’t do them with little or no sleep.

I’m hoping I can figure out what the problem is soon. I haven’t been taking a nap or anything either. I can be ready to pass out at 8pm, but as soon as I get in bed I’m wide away. Ugh.

A warm bath before bed doesn’t help either, I’ve tried that.


Blog Title: Loose Lips by Kimya Dawson

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There’s A Muddy Field Where A Garden Was

Listening To: Right As Rain, Pt 2 by The Lawrence Arms

This is a little blog I wanted to write for a while. I just never had the time, I guess, to do it. Well considering I’ve been having those wonderful hard times sleeping, and I more then likely won’t sleep tonight…it’s a good time to write this.

I know a lot of people who carry bags and always have a few odd things shoved in there, well not odd but completely random items. I had a spoon in my bag for a couple days because I forgot I had shoved it in there. No worries, it was a clean spoon – I took it because I wasn’t sure if I would need it with what I was leaving the house with for breakfast.

I’m pretty open about what I have in my bag, I don’t care if people know.

I carry the normal items like my wallet, a couple packs of gum, some mints, my mp3 player, my camera…

In one of the outside pockets though I carry condoms and spermicide sheets.

For those who have been reading my blog for years, you guys know that I’m not crazy and having sex with everyone I meet. I’ve never been that kind of person and never will be, yet I don’t point fingers at people who do that. Everyone is free to do whatever makes them happy as a person.

So I guess it seems odd for me to carry those items with me.

My friends know I have them and if they need one or both, I am more then happy to give them to whoever it is. It’s the simple message of protecting yourself.

I know in society it’s seem as a bad thing for females to carry condoms, well sorry society it’s not a bad thing. It’s taking responsibility for your actions. It’s not the guys responsibility to always have some kind of protection, and it’s not against the law for a female to go in and buy condoms.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for sex. As long as you’re of age – do it! But do it safely!

I hear all the time about people having babies and the main reason isĀ  the fact that they didn’t have protection and 90% of the time it’s the female saying “He” didn’t have the protection. Well honey, take care of your body too. If you’re too “shy” to buy condoms, buy spermicide.

Spermicide can be bought as a gel or as a sheet. Sheets are easier to fit in your bag. Another good reason for the sheets is there’s no liquid to get all over things if something happens to the bottle. Think along the lines of those breath strips, that’s really what it looks like it’s just bigger. There is a 18% to 29% failure rate with it, as there’s a failure rate with everything but always use more then one.

I guess the whole reason behind me wanting to write this is the fact that females are still scared to buy condoms, and there’s nothing wrong with females buying them.

When it comes to normal life, ugh.

This week I’ve spent two days trying to finish Randi’s apron since I didn’t work on it then ended up cutting pieces out wrong. -_- Tomorrow morning I put the last two stitches in it and I’m finished! Well until she tries it on. I’m sure I’ll have to fix the skirt part of the apron, it looks super long to me. I couldn’t try it on and use my body to mark it or anything so I did my best with guessing. I’ll just have to explain it to her and I’m sure she’ll understand about it all.

I have a skirt like my pirate skirt all cut out and ready to be finished. I used a yellow and white fabric, in the end I think it will look cute.

Tonight I cut out the outside fabric for my half cloak. I was originally going to work on my half cloak for my pirate costume, but the fabric I wanted to use I didn’t have enough of. >_< So I’m going to go through fabric tomorrow morning and see if I can find anything. I have a feeling I’ll have to tea stain something white – which isn’t a big deal at all. But anyways the cloak I’m making right now is just for everyday. The fabric is black and white checkered, and the lining is either going to be red or blue. I remember seeing some great blue fabric where we keep out fabric, but I’m hoping there’s some of the same kind of fabric in red.

I have two big projects that I’m going to start working on next week.

One project is a jacket to go with the whole pirate thing. I already have the buttons for the jacket, but I have yet to figure out what kind of fabric to use. I’ve never made a jacket before, but it looks easy.

The next project is making a pair of pants. The only thing close to “pants” that I’ve ever made was a pair of green leggings.

Tomorrow though is Friday, no more projects!

I think around 2:30 or 3:00 I’m going to head to the coffee shop to use their wifi for a while. I haven’t had good internet at home for like two weeks so I have a few things I really want to update and check out. So I’ll have loads of time to do that. I think I’m going to take my stupid hat with me too so once I’m finished with internet things I can sit and work on it a little bit.

I am excited for the weekend, well for the usual reason. ^_^

Oh yeah and we’re going to a fair. The inner kid in me loves fairs. And the photographer in me loves fairs. I already have my camera all cleared of pictures, when I get up in the morning I’m going to charge it.

When it all comes down to it though, I’m just excited to have a chance to spend time with him. He makes me smile and he doesn’t have to try. Just thinking of him brings a smile to my face. And well, it’s been a while since I’ve smiled with my heart.

Again, I hope everyone has a great weekend and be safe!

Listening To: Ten Thousand Fleas by Mischief Brew

Title is lyrics from the song Poison Oak by Bright Eyes

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