Survive A Horror Film Crate

Man Crate is a company offering crates for guys, things they’d want to receive as a gift. The guy receiving the crate doesn’t have to have a crowbar to open the box, don’t worry they receive it with the box. Oh and it’s not a box, it’s a wooden crate. No lies though, I want a wooden crate that has to be opened with a crowbar.

The people at Man Crate asked me what I would want to survive a horror movie. After long thought, this post is what I want.

Horror films come in all kinds. You have the supernatural, slasher, “monster”, zombie and the list goes on.

No matter what kind of horror is your favorite you need a few things to survive the movie.

If you were in any kind of horror film, what would you want to make surviving a little easier?

Please don’t think ‘Cell phone, I would want that’. Why? Because you know within seconds of pulling out a phone something is going to happen to destroy it.

I’m going to break it down into the top five items I would want if I was trying to survive a horror film.

1. A Warm, Water Repellent Coat & Boots

Friday The 13th (1980): Looking like a soaked rat and possibly getting a cold on top of being chased by a killer is not a good mix.
If you notice, in all the great horror films weather changes on a dime. It’s kind of like all the horror films take place in Ohio. A few days ago it was in the 70s and great weather and today people saw snow. Welcome to Ohio, or welcome to a horror film! Having a warm coat is key, you never know where you’ll have to go to outrun whatever creature/person is after you. Water repellent will help too, because as I said before it can be sunny one minute and snowing the next.

A pair of good boost also comes to mind. Never mind what you’ll be stepping in. It could be bits of your best friend or just the usual puddle of rain water. Having wet socks makes the day horrible and you don’t want your mind on that while you’re trying to live.

2. A Good Supply Of Food

Cabin Fever (2002) thought us, sometimes water is bad for you.
There’s a rule I go by in normal day-to-day life and that is: If you don’t know what’s in it, don’t eat it! This rule should carry over into any horror movie surviving as well. You never know if there’s something in the food (or water). Make sure your stockpile is full of foods to give you a lot of energy, so don’t stock up on soda & chips. That is unless you’re sure you won’t survive. If you know you won’t survive I say stock up on the junk food!

3. Religious Items

The Exorcist (1973): You never know who will become possessed.
It’s always a good idea to have some religious items on hand. One of those bibles may be good. You don’t need to memorize anything from it, just open it and look for something a demon won’t like. Remember, they’re scared of that guy riding on clouds.

Other religious items that may be helpful would be: A rosary, crosses, holy oil, holy water & rocksalt.

I know, rock salt isn’t really a religious item, but it is one of the pure things on earth and something old. What can I say, those evil things hate it. I’ve learned that from going on 11 season of Supernatural.

You’ll want to have some kind of bag with at least the holy water in it at all times. Put a little rock salt in that bag too, be on the safe side with that stuff.

4. Weapons

The Evil Dead (1981): Weapons are always a great thing.
It’s that simple: weapons. You’ll never know what you will come up against in a horror film, so you need to make sure you have a weapon for every kind of job.

Guns are the usual go to, but don’t forget bullets run out. So don’t just grab a pile of guns. If you have a gun crazy friend with you, those guns will be useless within hours.

Having weapons that cut and slash are always a great thing, just make sure there’s no possible way for your enemy to grab them. Dying by your own weapon is just a rough way to go.

Those odd weapons are always a plus, they’ll never see it coming. Remember: everything is a weapon! You just have to look at every item at your location in the right way to see what kind of damage it would do to another person/thing.

5. People You Won’t Mind Seeing Die

Everyone has a few people they want to see vanish. I say, invite them to play the cat and mouse game. Lead those people to their death. I know this sounds a little harsh, but hey, we’re on bitter on the inside. The key thing to remember is to make sure these people are slow and the kind of the people who will surly be killed before you. We all know those kind of people. With some of those people the world would be better off…just sayin’.

In the end you want to survive and you have to be willing to do anything.

I hope you all have an awesome October and you’re able to find some movies that scare you to death.

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