Buy The Next Round

This week is just going to overly suck, I don’t have that person I always talk to. It has really bummed me out but I am trying to make the best of the week. I just never realized how much I talk to him until today, I miss him a lot. It’s just the small goofy texts that make my day.


I’ve been trying to keep my mind off missing him by keeping busy.

I admit, yesterday (Monday) I didn’t keep myself busy. I just laid around and watcher Supernatural. With that said, I was able to submit two job applications. Crappy internet kind of doesn’t help when you’re trying to apply for anything. =_=

Today I kept busy by doing a few things.

First thing I did was sew on a couple things. I was able to get one apron sewn together and the second one…I ran out of thread! I haven’t finished the second apron because we don’t have any thread that matches what I was using and it was just too cold today to walk over to my aunts to see if she has any that matches.

When I was finished with that I went to my room. I admit, I don’t keep my bedroom spotless and ever since I’ve been working on running the online shop and going to events I’ve really let it go. So I’ve started spring cleaning!

I know it’s not even close to spring, but like I said I’m trying to keep myself busy.

The first thing was my closet. First off it’s not really a closet. My bedroom doesn’t have a closet, so I have a nice sized bookcase that I use for a closet. And I have three baskets on the shelves for socks and such. I still don’t have a curtain made from the front of it though, which needs done.

Two of the shelves had t-shirts and I also had a stack of shirts that wouldn’t fit any where. I was able to get rid of at least four grocery bags of shirts! It felt so good to just let them go! And I know the shirts are going to a good place – we donate clothing to local churches and such. The biggest part of my shirts are band shirts and well I’m sorry I will never let them go.

Last week I let around 10 pairs of jeans go.

Today I also got rid of maybe three pairs of pajama pants. ^_^

Now all my shirts fit on both shelves!

When it came to the basket my underwear is kept in…it was a mess. The basket is a nice sized basket, so in the back of the basket I had a could dresses and well everything was just thrown in there. Folding underwear isn’t fun but I got it done. I even threw out older pairs – the kind that you buy and after like two washed the images that used to be on them vanish. So now everything is nice and neat in the basket – and the back part is filled with folded dresses and skirts. When I buy some new underwear though I will be throwing some more out.

After that fun I went through my bra basket. In the back of this basket I keep tank tops. I didn’t have to get rid of any bras because I just did that maybe two months ago. I had a bad habit of taking my bra off and laying it somewhere and not being able to find it – now I can them all of them. Ha ha! I have maybe six bras but I only have two that I really wear, they’re just comfortable and well if I’m just going to the store for a few I don’t want to be uncomfortable…heck half the time when I’m just running out for something I don’t even wear a bra.

My sock basket was the biggest…headache. >_< I didn’t really get rid of any socks but I was able to match a few of them up to their mates. When I was finished I realized I had over 20 socks with no mates! What the hell?! Not only that but my favorite pair of socks is now just one sock. >_< I’m hoping it’s under my bed or some stupid place. I did notice I need a new pair of fishnets, mine are just so old and you can tell.

I even cleaned at bit at the foot of my bed. There’s not really a lot I can do to the foot of my bed because all of my books are on the floor there, not only that but my basket of costumes are there too. I’m really scared to pull all of that out to start cleaning.

I have a nightstand there that has my stereo on it…that thing scares me. I know there’s a load of things in the nightstand. I guess the one good thing is once I get inside the nightstand cleaned I’ll be able to fit a few of my books in there.

Nail Polish

Tonight I did go through my nail polish. I got rid of at least 20 bottles of nail polish. I also go rid of expired bath stuff. I can’t believe what used to take up half a shelf in the bathroom now takes up like 1/4!

I did take a break from cleaning tonight to watch the new episode of Supernatural. That also means I made myself junk food.


Okay, I know fries are not really junk food. I have never made fries before, this was my first try at it and they turned out awesome. I made seasoned fries – which are fries with a mixture of flour and spices on them. The mixture isn’t as thick as when you bread other things, you take the mixture and water it down so it’s thin. It was so worth all the work. ^_^

Earlier this week I also started a little photo series Punk Is Pretty. It’s really just a way for me to work on lighting effects and such. I thought I’d share the first two pictures in the series. Don’t worry the first one isn’t nude, even though it looks like it. Click the images to see a larger size. ^_^

Punk Is Pretty I Punk Is Pretty II

Everyone seems to love the first image – which was natural light and zero touch ups (and zero make up). I haven’t posted the second one to my facebook yet, but I did post it on twitter.

Today I didn’t do another image for the series because I just didn’t feel like it. I’m hoping tomorrow I’ll be able to and I’ll feel like it.

I did do another image today…(click for larger size)


This image came out of just being bored. I threw on my sweet lolita cosplay – okay really it takes me a while to put just the clothing on, not counting the wig.

Valentine’s Day is coming up. Which is kind of hard to believe.

Anyways I’m not 100% set on a gift for J yet.

I had the idea to do a little photo book for him, but I want to make the book myself. That means I’d have to print the images…I have no printer. A friend suggested going to a store to print the pictures, but um I wanted to include a personal one – if you get what I mean. So basically I’m down to trying to find a friend who would be okay with me printing the pictures on their printer or a friend I completely trust to print them. I haven’t found anyone willing to print the pictures.

So this leaves me kind of…not having an idea of a gift or anything. I don’t really want to do anything huge, just something small. Ugh. I’m bad at the whole gift thing.


Blog Title: Mercedes Benz by Janis Joplin

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Selling Something No One Can Be

Tonight a new season of My 600-LB Life [LINK] started.

The first season I didn’t watch while the new shows were airing. I’d catch it when they had a marathon on. I’d get sucked into the show and watching the struggle these people were going through to survive life – to make their life better.

I have family members who are overweight.

My grandma was at least 350 pounds when she passed away in 2005 – a week to the day after I graduated high school. She had problems with her knees but due to her weight she was never able to have anything done. The weight was making her heart work too much to take a risk of major surgery. I’d say my aunt is 300 pounds right now. She’s not as active as she used to be when I was growing up. My younger brother is starting to gain weight – he’s a year younger. He’s not hitting overweight yet, but I’m sure he’s on his way. My older brother has also gained a good amount of weight over the past year.

I on the other hand, I’m no where close to being overweight. This is because I have an eating disorder. I’m 4 foot 4 1/2 inches tall and weigh 70 pounds. Growing up and seeing people being overweight, I never wanted to be like them. So majorly watching what I ate was a way to make sure I wouldn’t become like them.

To this day I still do it. Some months are better, some months are worse.

Lately it’s been better – even though when I look in the mirror I see someone who weights 200 pounds. It’s hard for people to understand what I see and hard for people to understand the reason I started with this eating disorder at age 12.

Starting with the eating disorder was all about control. Controlling the fact that I wouldn’t end up overweight.

I wish we lived in a society where I could say what you look like doesn’t mean anything, but it does.

I know writing about this is opening myself up for major judgement and people saying rude things. That’s not the reason I wrote about it. It’s a new year so I wanted to open myself up more on my blog. To share things I would have never shared before and hopefully giving other bloggers can connect with me and see they’re not alone with whatever they’re dealing with. My blog isn’t going to turn into a weird food blog – blogging about what I ate and counting every calorie. It’s just going to be like it was before with more personal things mixed in.


Blog Title: This Is The End (For You My Friend) By Anti-Flag

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And You Look Into My Eyes

Well, I know I had a great weekend. Except for Friday.

Friday was spent driving around the county because my brother doesn’t think things through. Which has come to be normal. Ugh.

Saturday though Jason and I went to a benefit a couple of his friends (and one of their girlfriends) was working at. It was fun. ^_^

After the benefit we went to downtown Kent to look at some of the shops. All I can say is I hope we have a chance to go back when I have some money on me so I can grab a couple things for Christmas.

The one shop is called Off The Wagon [LINK]. It’s this great little place that has…a little of everything. I seen a lot of things that would make great Christmas gifts. Not to mention I seen a few things that I wouldn’t mind having.

We had to grab something to drink, so we went to Tree City Coffee [LINK]. They have cases of sweets that all looked so good. But we were just there to get drinks. I got a small black tea – so good.

Then we stopped at this place that only sold alcohol. I’m not a big drinker, but it was just cool to look at all the bottles. That was until I seen pumpkin wine. I’m kind of kicking myself for not getting  a bottle. I want to look around here to see if I can find any.

We then met his friends at one of their homes, then went out for dinner with them. We went to The Winking Lizard Tavern [LINK]. Great food! Though their menu is kind of small if you’re looking for vegetarian (or vegan). I got a roasted veggie wrap and could only eat half.

After dinner we went back to his friends place and played a card game. We were there until about 1:30am or so and we went back to Jason’s.

Today we watched Escape From Planet Earth [LINK]. It was a cute movie, but I wish it was funnier then it was.

Before he brought me home he put some ice cream in a container. We stopped at a fast food place and for two large root beers, no ice & half food. Then we put the ice cream in our cups and have root beer floats! ^_^ It was the cutest thing ever.

Tonight I worked a bit on my Halloween costume. I figure tomorrow I’ll be totally finished with the sequins. My goal is to get it totally finished with the costume by the end of the week. Which I should be able to do. It just takes a while to get the sequins done since you’re doing them one at a time. Plus the ones I’m using now I have to sit and pick out of a pile of mixed colors…so that just adds even more time.

This week is going to be a headache for me…I’m pretty sure of it. If all goes well I’ll finally be able to open my Etsy shop mid-week. Well that’s my goal anyways. Right now though I’m just mainly going to have earrings and keychains. I’m not sure what I should put up for sale right off the bat…any ideas?

I was thinking about doing up a few scarves, even some that are two sided.

I have a headache, so I think that means I should lay down.

Jason & Me

Blog Title: The Drunk Of Three Nights by Mischief Brew

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Engines stop running, but I have no fear

Last week as…just not a good week. Females issues always just makes me so depressed. Even with that though I was able to do a few projects.

Bow Belt

I made myself this super cute vintage inspired bow belt. I have a black skirt I want to wear it with. And since I made one and it’s not a lot of work at all I’m going to add them to the things I’m making/selling, at the price of $7. I love it.


I also made myself a new dress. I used a basic tank dress pattern I made. I found a great black and red fabric too.

Baby Dragon

I also made my first plushie! I made it for Jason. Considering it was my first plushie I think it turned out cute. The hardest part for me was putting the eyes on it.

Right now I’m advertising Halloween costume orders. I know it’s a little early, but it takes a while to make costumes. Mainly though I just really want to do skirts, but I’m willing to do other pieces of costumes. Plus it will give me a little money, I found a wig at a Halloween shop that I really want.

When it comes to Halloween though, I finally figured out what I want to be! I’m going to be a sailor! My plan to is make a two piece costume. A skirt and a crop top – I’m not sure if I want the top to tie in front or not. The skirt is going to be a pleated skirt. The main color is going to be blue, but I think I’m going to put white trim on the hem of the skirt. I already found a pattern to make the hat too.

Thursday is Talk Like A Pirate Day. Which means Jason will be coming to pick me up after he gets off work…yes we’re going out and dressing up like pirates.

This just means this week I will be working on finishing up everything I need. And trying the costume on at least once.

The two major things I really need to finish are my hat and my half cloak. The hat shouldn’t be a problem once I really sit down and look at it. The cloak on the other hand is going to take more time because I’m going to tea stain the fabric. I can’t sew it until I do that, but I can at least cut it out. I have to leave the fabric in the tea for at least an hour, then I have to rinse it off, dry it and possible put it back in the tea for a little bit. Ugh.

In other news…

Last night Jason came down and picked me up. We spent the night watching movies and just spending time together – which is what I needed. I love the way he holds me.

We watched the sun come up too. Before we knew it, it was 7am. We did fall asleep shortly after we realized what time it was.

Jason and I went to this great little diner for a late lunch. It was kind of a rat pack theme…and they sat us at a Frank Sinatra table. ^_^

After we ate we checked out a Halloween shop. I really need a new wig and I found one I love. They really didn’t have a lot out yet though, so I figure we’re going to be going back before Halloween.

Blog Title: London Calling by The Clash

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There’s A Muddy Field Where A Garden Was

Listening To: Right As Rain, Pt 2 by The Lawrence Arms

This is a little blog I wanted to write for a while. I just never had the time, I guess, to do it. Well considering I’ve been having those wonderful hard times sleeping, and I more then likely won’t sleep tonight…it’s a good time to write this.

I know a lot of people who carry bags and always have a few odd things shoved in there, well not odd but completely random items. I had a spoon in my bag for a couple days because I forgot I had shoved it in there. No worries, it was a clean spoon – I took it because I wasn’t sure if I would need it with what I was leaving the house with for breakfast.

I’m pretty open about what I have in my bag, I don’t care if people know.

I carry the normal items like my wallet, a couple packs of gum, some mints, my mp3 player, my camera…

In one of the outside pockets though I carry condoms and spermicide sheets.

For those who have been reading my blog for years, you guys know that I’m not crazy and having sex with everyone I meet. I’ve never been that kind of person and never will be, yet I don’t point fingers at people who do that. Everyone is free to do whatever makes them happy as a person.

So I guess it seems odd for me to carry those items with me.

My friends know I have them and if they need one or both, I am more then happy to give them to whoever it is. It’s the simple message of protecting yourself.

I know in society it’s seem as a bad thing for females to carry condoms, well sorry society it’s not a bad thing. It’s taking responsibility for your actions. It’s not the guys responsibility to always have some kind of protection, and it’s not against the law for a female to go in and buy condoms.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for sex. As long as you’re of age – do it! But do it safely!

I hear all the time about people having babies and the main reason is  the fact that they didn’t have protection and 90% of the time it’s the female saying “He” didn’t have the protection. Well honey, take care of your body too. If you’re too “shy” to buy condoms, buy spermicide.

Spermicide can be bought as a gel or as a sheet. Sheets are easier to fit in your bag. Another good reason for the sheets is there’s no liquid to get all over things if something happens to the bottle. Think along the lines of those breath strips, that’s really what it looks like it’s just bigger. There is a 18% to 29% failure rate with it, as there’s a failure rate with everything but always use more then one.

I guess the whole reason behind me wanting to write this is the fact that females are still scared to buy condoms, and there’s nothing wrong with females buying them.

When it comes to normal life, ugh.

This week I’ve spent two days trying to finish Randi’s apron since I didn’t work on it then ended up cutting pieces out wrong. -_- Tomorrow morning I put the last two stitches in it and I’m finished! Well until she tries it on. I’m sure I’ll have to fix the skirt part of the apron, it looks super long to me. I couldn’t try it on and use my body to mark it or anything so I did my best with guessing. I’ll just have to explain it to her and I’m sure she’ll understand about it all.

I have a skirt like my pirate skirt all cut out and ready to be finished. I used a yellow and white fabric, in the end I think it will look cute.

Tonight I cut out the outside fabric for my half cloak. I was originally going to work on my half cloak for my pirate costume, but the fabric I wanted to use I didn’t have enough of. >_< So I’m going to go through fabric tomorrow morning and see if I can find anything. I have a feeling I’ll have to tea stain something white – which isn’t a big deal at all. But anyways the cloak I’m making right now is just for everyday. The fabric is black and white checkered, and the lining is either going to be red or blue. I remember seeing some great blue fabric where we keep out fabric, but I’m hoping there’s some of the same kind of fabric in red.

I have two big projects that I’m going to start working on next week.

One project is a jacket to go with the whole pirate thing. I already have the buttons for the jacket, but I have yet to figure out what kind of fabric to use. I’ve never made a jacket before, but it looks easy.

The next project is making a pair of pants. The only thing close to “pants” that I’ve ever made was a pair of green leggings.

Tomorrow though is Friday, no more projects!

I think around 2:30 or 3:00 I’m going to head to the coffee shop to use their wifi for a while. I haven’t had good internet at home for like two weeks so I have a few things I really want to update and check out. So I’ll have loads of time to do that. I think I’m going to take my stupid hat with me too so once I’m finished with internet things I can sit and work on it a little bit.

I am excited for the weekend, well for the usual reason. ^_^

Oh yeah and we’re going to a fair. The inner kid in me loves fairs. And the photographer in me loves fairs. I already have my camera all cleared of pictures, when I get up in the morning I’m going to charge it.

When it all comes down to it though, I’m just excited to have a chance to spend time with him. He makes me smile and he doesn’t have to try. Just thinking of him brings a smile to my face. And well, it’s been a while since I’ve smiled with my heart.

Again, I hope everyone has a great weekend and be safe!

Listening To: Ten Thousand Fleas by Mischief Brew

Title is lyrics from the song Poison Oak by Bright Eyes

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That one word describes most of the weekend…well the biggest part of the weekend. All I can say is I’m finished going to events with my aunt. I’m sick of being treated like a slave and getting no respect.

If you’re not well enough to do these things on your own, you don’t need to be going to them.

I know I’m going to be taking a loss because that means less money coming in, but I’m going to stat taking cosplay/clothing commission work. If anyone is interested (US only right now) let me know. I’m open to doing pretty much anything – aprons (half & full), skirts, purses, pillow cases, hairbows…

It’s really going to suck for her because there’s an event at the end of the month. I’m not going. As I said before, I’m finished. I just can’t take her bitching and complaining any more. Not only did I have to hear about how sick she is (I had a cold too) but she would just sit and bitch about people. Sorry but I don’t want that negativity in my life.

I told my mom since I won’t be answering her calls that if she calls my mom she doesn’t know who I am. HAHA!

This week though I’m going to sit down and work on Randi’s apron. Due to the crazy week last week I didn’t get a chance to start on it. I’m not looking forward to measuring it out and marking it though because it’s black fabric. The chalk hates me. I always get it everywhere – it washes off, but it just sucks when you get it all over the place.

Friday night I was able to go with friends up to Canton. And Jason kind of surprised me when we were eating. I told him where we were and I didn’t really figure he’d show up. Next thing I knew he was standing beside me, it was the best kind of surprise. ^_^

Then we went to hookah, normal thing as usual.

Through it all and even though it was a short night, it was just nice to spend some time with him even if it wasn’t a lot of time. ^_^

He came down Saturday for a little bit too.

And since I’m not able to go to con, I’m really hoping to be able to see him next weekend too. But who knows what will happen when it comes down to it. Fingers crossed I just won’t be sitting at home next weekend though.

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It’s happy time

Festival Food

Last night, to my great surprise, I was kidnapped. Okay not the usual “kidnapped” it was planned and I was very excited when I got the texts about it all. ^_^

Jason picked me up late last night, and I was beyond happy to see his face. We sadly don’t live that close to each other, but at least he’s not in another state or two hours away. When you look at the drive between the two cities, it’s honestly not that bad. And usually every other weekend I’m in his city with friends at the hookah place, so that’s a bright spot in it all. And well…I enjoy every moment I spend with him. He’s such a sweet guy – along with funny and a little nerdy. I’m so glad  we started talking when we did. He’s a total keeper.

But anyways as I said he picked me up late last night. I took the night Planet Terror (2007) [LINK] and we watched it. I admit, it had been a while since I seen the movie so there were a couple pieces of the film I didn’t remember. And it still makes me a little sad that out of the two Grindhouse films I liked Death Proof (2007) [LINK]. I mean in theory Planet Terror is a “zombie” film…and well I fucking love zombie films. To me Planet Terror was just missing a little something.

We ended up staying up until like 6am, which wasn’t the best idea but I know I didn’t care. I enjoy spending time with him even at that early in the morning. ^_^

This morning we spent it at the Italian American Festival in Dover. I haven’t been there in nearly 5 years and it was smaller then it used to be. We sat and watched a couple of the girls from a dance school in town perform. We also grabbed something to eat (picture above). And I think it’s some kind of law that if you go to a festival and there’s a lemonade stand you can’t leave until you have lemonade.

It’s kind of like at the county fair, I can’t leave without having fries and lemonade. That’s really one of the reasons I even go to the fair any more. Though I’m sure I’ll be going with my niece at some point, and I’m going to talk Jason into going at some point because it’s always a good time when you’re there with someone you enjoy.

I guess a lot of people have noticed how much happier I’ve been over the past couple weeks. I think I have a great reason to be happy. ^_^

Also, check out TaV for reviews of the films I’ve been watching lately.

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It seems there’s a great little cold going around, yep I have it.

At first I thought it was just allergies or something along those lines because I’ve been sitting outside every morning from about 10am to 3pm. My nose started getting stuffy after someone cut their grass, so I figured that’s why.

Well by the next morning I woke up without a voice and by the time I had a voice it was one of those that you could hardly hear. People don’t hear me that well normally so ugh!

I’m just hoping this cold is over before Thursday because if it’s not…Thursday is going to be such a bad day.

Thursday is set up for the steam show – yippie. Which means hours of standing at the fairgrounds trying to figure out where to put the tables under the tent. Once that’s figured out the next thing is to fill the tables with everything. Not looking forward to it at all.

Then Friday to Sunday 8am to 5pm…I’ll  be there. Though I am hoping to be able to get a little visit with my friend in. ^_^

I am going to take my sewing machine and everything else I need to I can work a bit on the apron Randi ordered for me, the collar she wants, and work on the tops to my cosplays.

Yes, con is closing in fast and I still don’t have tops done. I’m still kind of stuck as to what kind of tops I should do. The maid outfit I was just going to do a basic side zipper sleeveless top with a bit of a lace ruffle going down the front of the top. And I’m completely stuck when it comes to the basic sweet Lolita outfit top. =_= I think what it’s going to come down to for both tops is just a lot of playing around once I get the basic top finished.

I am considering adding some fake pearls to the skirt, as soon as I figure out where I put them. Haha. I’m just trying to add a lot to the skirt so it really looks like a sweet Lolita skirt because I guess right now it doesn’t really look like that. I mean I know it’s not going to be perfect since it’s my first try at any of the Lolita clothing, but I think so far as good.

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